This paper describes and interprets certain personal experiences as an 'out' gay male academic who addresses issues of sexualisation in his work. I discuss several events which have impacted on curricula, on student and collegial relations and on the practices and culture of university settings more broadly. While some of these impacts can be seen as positive (e.g. diversification of curricula, improvements in campus and community 'social climates', critical alliance building), others cannot (e.g. marginalisation, the perpetuation of privilege, and backlash). I conclude that sexualisation in academia is inescapably a contradictory process, and that ethical judgements about particular decisions and actions must consider processes as much as outcomes, and context as much as content.